Overcoming a fear is such an empowering experience.

In 1999 before I began my training for the NGA Natural America Bodybuilding Championships at 21 years old I went on a life changing adventure to Hedonism II, (website) an all inclusive adult resort on the beautiful beaches of Negril, Jamaica.

Be wicked for a week. Is their motto and it was nothing short of wicked. Sex, drugs, nakedness, sex, alcohol, and more sex. I did lift weights a few times but nothing to write home about, and the sex was not with me included. To be honest, I was a bit freaked out with the amount of casual sexual activities being shared around. Ever go to a nude beach? How about a beach where everyone has sex with each other in public? Yeah, porn on a tv or computer is one thing but seeing it live is a bit shocking. Maybe that’s the conservative prude in me, however I will share more of my crazy stories with you another time but for now lets talk about overcoming fear.

Ricks cafe (website) a public bar and restaurant with a picture perfect setting on one of the most incredible coves on the West End Cliffs. When you are in Jamaica you know about Rick’s cafe as it has become a tourist must have experience. The beautiful views, the crashing waves, and the 35ft platform that locals and travelers alike jump from everyday.

As an adrenaline junkie you know I’m jumping. High on life and local weed, mixed in with some adult beverages I was ready to take the plunge. My traveling buddy Joe was just as pumped as I was and we made a commitment “you jump – I jump”.

But wait, I need to use the bathroom. I could have just used the ocean as my number 1 toilet however, what I really needed was some time to collect my thoughts about this leap I was about to take.

With my thoughts composed and my chest puffed with pride an a empty ego I walked out of the bathroom just as Joe walks up the steps dripping wet saying “DUDE that was fucking awesome”. You were supposed to wait for me, I said. (just typing that I feel like a little bitch)

My turn. While walking up to the edge of what seemed to be 100ft cliff I feel my heart pumping in my throat. I watch the locals climb the tree that was on the cliff (which was probably another 25ft higher) and jump with ease.

I got this.

As my toes curled over the edge, I tilt my head to get a glimpse of the crystal clear blue ocean. I see splashes, laughter, and a whole lot of unpleasant visuals of me crashing into the cliff head first. Even though 10 people had jumped before me and enjoyed a fun dive, I take about 30 seconds before I put my head down and walk away without jumping. I’m not afraid of heights, and I love adrenaline so what the fuck was I afraid of?

Defeated by fear.

I was afraid of falling and planted negative thoughts in my head that grew into vivid images of a deadly head smash into the side of Rick’s Cafe. This failed cliff jump attempt I had created in my head overcame me, paralyzing my spirit.

This moment was something I thought of quite often and of course I had the actual photo to prove my coward like behavior, thanks Joe! I always told the story without hesitation and with complete honesty because I have nothing to prove to anyone. Dignity; One thing I did have to regain, but how?


Every time it’s talked about it , I always thought of the time in Jamaica when I was afraid to jump and how I wouldn’t let myself down ever again. As I check skydiving off my bucket list, I realize how this fear of falling is directly related to the fear or failing and how it relates to a few other areas of my life.

Jumping out of a plane from 13,500 ft in the sky was the most freeing experience of my life so far. The air is all you feel and the wind is all you hear and the parachuting experience was nothing short of amazing. I forgot about everything for about 6 minutes and let the universe take me from the friendly skies to the grounded earth. The only thing better than falling from the atmosphere at 135mph is the deep rooted emotional feeling of overcoming a obstacle that has held you back from your life’s true potential.

Don’t let the fear of falling or failing paralyze your spirit.

It starts in the brain. With thousands of thoughts that hit our brain each day both subconscious and conscious, the fearful ones are the ones that will prevent us from accomplishing goals and will never allow us to fulfill our lives with abundance. Thoughts become actions which then become behavior, so be mindful of who you wish to become.

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